Thursday, May 6, 2010

Jennifer

Jenni is my second daughter, who just turned 26 in November. It's funny that no matter how hard I try, I constantly refer to her at the wrong age.

One year when she was only 20, I added 21 candles to her cake. That's an age that young adults never want to get wrong since it's the "coming of age" birthday. But in so many ways, Jenni always seemed older to me than her actual chronological age.

When Jen was really young, serious migraines defined her life. We saw so many doctors, therapists, and specialists trying to locate the reason for the pain that plagued her. She endured so much poking, prodding and questioning most of her young life, that it makes me think her desire to become a nurse is probably the result of all the things she was exposed to from so early on. Some of the worst memories of her childhood, for me, was having to give her injections for her migraines when she was already in such pain.

Jenni has always been creative, in spite of her pain. She was not a complainer. Around 10 years old, Mike rushed her to the medical center for a large cut just below her thumb. As the doctor stitched her up, he questioned her dad about how she had gotten a cut like that. He was astonished that we allowed her to use an X-acto knife, and was discussing safety issues.

Doctor: "Why were you using a knife, Jennifer?"
Jenni: "I was building a doll house."
Doctor: "That is probably not a good thing for someone your age to be doing, especially with a knife."
Jenni: "I've been using craft knives for a long time. It's the 3rd dollhouse I've built."
Doctor: "Oh."

That has always been her personality. Making things gave her satisfaction and joy, and she still makes a huge majority of her own clothing. She also has made stunning art by combining pieces of magazine pictures,or dried flowers. She just has an eye for that. She also has books of drawings (all three of my kids can draw - that's a trait they get from their dad's side of the family!) that are beautiful. She beads, and just recently taught me some of that skill. I think Jenni can take anything and make something out of it.

Jen has also been my adventurer. She was the first to leave the area when she moved to Alabama for a year, so I should not have been shocked when she married and moved to Oregon. I don't know what I would do if there were not cell phones, email or airlines!! The cost to fly home is tremendous for her, but she never complains. She looks for ways to make it home twice each year, and tells me that it's just part of being the one who moved away.

For a while her days off were on Fridays, so I looked forward to a call each week. We missed each other for 2 weeks, and when we finally connected, it seemed like so much time had passed. I really miss being able to know her day to day thoughts, feelings, or current projects she is working on. I wish we could go to the Farmers Market together on the weekends, or run to the fabric store when the whim hit us. I would love to have her come over for a Chili dinner and stick around for a cheesy movie. I would love to have her and Ash run around to garage sales with me on Saturday mornings. I would love it if she lived closer.

Life is like that, though. We love our kids, teach them to be responsible and prepare them for life, then send them off into the world. Some parents have a hard time letting go (I don't want to!!)but I don't want to cripple them. They need to explore, see their own adventures and build their own worlds. I am proud of who Jenni has become, and as much as I wish she were here, I am thankful on this busy planet that she still maintains such great contact with us. She has made friendships and formed a lifestyle that suits her personality. She makes me proud.

So, two days before Mother's Day, I am not only thankful for Ashleigh who made me a mom for the first time, but I am also grateful for the second daughter that God blessed us with. Jennifer, you make me smile just thinking of how far you have come and how well you have gotten to this point in your life.

Jenni, If you ever want to move back here, I will enjoy it immensely. While you are away, know that I cherish our conversations, and I can not think of anyone else who has kids just as wonderful as mine. You made me a better mom when you entered my world. I love you.

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