Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bella is almost 20 months old now. Since 6 of her siblings are in school at least part of the day, Bella gets total mommy (and sometimes daddy) time all morning. Today we chose the local restaurant to eat breakfast and catch up with a friend.
Bella doesn't really like eating out. She hates a high chair now, and would much rather be on the run. The restaurant we go to is great with her, calling her by name and making sure she has anything she wants as soon as we walk in the door. Today she just wanted to stack the creamers.
I was able to visit for ten full minutes before "SPLAT!" I felt cool liquid on my face, my glasses, my arms and my shirt. She wasn't stacking the creamers anymore, she had bitten into one and the sticky cream coated me.
I looked at the spots all over my shirt and then over to the look of amazement all smeared all over Bella's face. What a mess!! But Bella was grinning. I sensed the entire clientel at the restaurant was looking our way, collectively holding their breath to see what I was going to do with the mess.
I carry diaper wipes whereever I go, so clean up was quick and painless, and our conversation with our friend continued with little delay.
Why is this important to write about? I am thankful on bright sunny days for time with Bella, time with friends, and a good toasted bagel. I am grateful that there are waitresses in this town that look forward to our visit, and thankful that Bella can smile when she sees mommy with creamer all over her shirt and face. And mostly, I am glad I have made it to the point in my life where I have learned not to cry over "spilled milk." Like my dad always says, "One meal, one shirt."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Red Hair day

I decided to cut costs this summer. I have made my own laundry detergent and stain removers, and a huge batch of hot cocoa mix (that my 6 year old can't seem to get enough of). I elected to color my own hair today, and forgo a trim until it's just impossible to style anymore. We are remodeling several rooms in our home, making it a huge project that could be costing us much, much more in supplies and decorations were it not for the fact that I really love being frugal, and clearance shopping is my hobby.
Now, I have friends that proclaim me NUTS!! Yes, I love shopping, and spending, but I have my limits. And I do like "things." I look long and hard for a bargain, and have taught myself to buy what I can use immediately, or at least have a plan for how/when it can be used soon. I purchase gifts in advance, when I find them, and stow them until the given day. I love to surprise myself with how inexpensively I can outfit each new room, and still be proud of it.
So as I sit here pondering all my savings, the $3.oo box of red dye sinking in to cover the grey, I am thankful that I learned frugality from my parents, and am also proud of the fact that I am passing it down to my kids. Sometimes the best things in life can be found on sale....or clearance. And maybe tomorrow I will ponder my love of recycling.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Another day comes to a close

I always wonder how other people put their households to sleep. The bigger kids go down easily now, but the little ones seem to linger as long as they can. Another kiss, just one more hug, as if the parting for the night is just impossible to fathom in their little minds. However, once the last sigh escapes from delicate rosebuds lips, I can begin to relax.
How? Like other moms, I am sure. I fold laundry, tidy the kitchen, plug in the cell phone so it can last during all the travels coming up tomorrow. I check voice mails, emails, and sort the snail mail to the can that calls it the loudest. I enjoy the evening that I can read the newspaper, or sometimes visit a friend.
When I finally fall into my own comfy bed, I am relieved if there are no little bodies clammering for another piece of "mommy" time. At least for a little while. If I can get some time to snooze before the pitter-pat of their little feet sneaking (or wailing!) into my room, I feel ready to begin another day.
With six of the kids still at home going to school these days, I find myself re-inventing who I am. It's been a long time since I have had so much peace, and baby Bella certainly seems easy after all the others go their daily routes.
My problem tonight? I can't stop the feeling that someone is missing from our family. We have talked at length about another baby, and at our age, that means another adoption. But that's the problem. Our age. We've looked into overseas adoptions, local adoptions, different state adoptions. Some think we are too old, others just right. The costs are exhausting just to think about, and the paperwork to complete any of them is so overwhelming this week. That's the part that rolls over in my head day in and day out. So. I find myself pining for what will probably never be now, and yet so very grateful that we are where we are. We are a family that is blessed beyond measure - and as the old testament states, our "quiver" is full!
Tonight I am ready to lay down my head and rest. But my heart restlessly ponders the "what if's" , the "I wish...", and the "If only..." Maybe mom's like me never know how to quit the feelings of wanting another child, or feeling as if "someone/somewhere out there needs me."
Until the feelings are gone, I will dream of the possibilities as if the answer will be waiting for me as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning. Dreams last for so long...and it's always much more pleasant than having no dreams at all.