hospital musings from a tired mom

So, what started as a routine sleep study and doctor appointments for my two babies at the childrens hospital four hours from home, I am now spending my 3rd night on a stiff cot so I can be close to Isaiah while he recovers. Many of you know that we have found other medical issues going on with the baby since he's been in America, but this one kind of caught us off guard. We were headed down to the clinic and appointments on Wednesday, with my mom and Nelly in the car and the two boys, when Isaiah projectile vomitted his entire feed and doused Nelly with the formula that came back up. We had been having a few episodes of this happening, and we kept trying to determine if it was related to how fast we fed him, or the type of formula, or the movements he made between feedings, or his position...basically, looking for a pattern that we could tell the doctor about, or even self- diagnose and correct. Unfortunately, this time was his 5th straight day of urping at least one complete feed every 24 hours. Getting just 30 ounces of feed a day is what is suppose to be beefing him up, so losing 6 or more ounces in that time frame was dangerous. I called the kind nurse at the clinic, and she immediately sent us to the emergency room. We were able to get Gb into his urology appointment to set up the date for his hypospadious repair, and were in the ER before an hour was up. He had been struggling to breathe and had been very loud with every breath, sounding more pinched and constricted each day. We made it to the entrance to the ER, they rushed us back and had an IV inserted before I had time to let mom and Nelly know what was happening. I figured it was serious when 7 professionals came quickly into the room with an "all hands on deck!" approach to our situation. He was going to be admitted, we found out within a half and hour of our arrival, and the plans began to form. To make a long story short, instead of having a night at the hotel with the babies, Mom and Nelly would be making their way back home just a few hours after we had reached town. And the night and following day, Isaiah was NPO (and starving!) while the tests came in. He went through a surgery last night to remove floppy tissue around his voice box, where they also noticed some narrowing of the passage, when I got a call from the doc in the OR. He was doing well, but his adenoids were soooo enlarged there was NO air getting through - the question: could I consent to tonsils and adenoids being removed too. SURE!! Out came a tiny boy, who must have felt like a MAC truck had climbed into his nostrils, looking every bit as pitiful as I have ever seen a baby before. He was on oxygen, pain meds and had a plastic "trumpet" coming out of his nose. (By the way, when the doctor removed it today, it looked to be at least 6 inches long, although he gagged as if it were 6 feet coming out!) He was declared to be on the mend, and the night of coughing and gagging and suctioning was completely normal for what he had gone through that evening. His blood pressure fluctuated on the high side, while his oxygen dropped scarey numbers that set off alarms all night long, which is not, by the way, conducive to my sleep either. Then today, by noon we were off to the "regular" floor, out of the PICU and improving by leaps and bounds. Isaiah would disagree. Each cough is painful to watch, and our big fear was how well he would tolerate feeding again. And why was that an issue to begin with last weekend? Or, too, how would we keep him from pneumonia? The first 3 oz. went down ok, although he arched in pain and coughed more. Three hours later, still getting all his regular meds and now 2 types of pain meds, another 3 oz were introduced when, as if on command, he lost it. They had so hoped to get 6 oz. feeds going again and be thinking of sending us home this weekend! NOT. I must say, the nurses and doctors here are fabulous, and I was introduced to the Ronald McDonald house where they fed me two meal today, and I have also been blessed with friends who have faithfully prayed a calmness into my last few days too, so I am doing well. Tired, and living on caffeine and God's goodness! Tonight they put Isaiah on the feeding pump which pumped his last 3 oz feed over an hour. So far, he is peaceful and tolerating it. That schedule will continue through the night,and perhaps by morning it can be increased. I met a sweet lady who has been here at this hospital for 3 months since her 6 year old son was injured in a bad car wreck. She seemed calm. I asked how in the world she did it this long. Her answer? Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. This weekend I wanted to go camping. I had plans to take the kids to the children's museum near our town, and I had an idea of what my following week would look like. That is all out the window now. The main focus is getting my baby well so we can go home. Trying my best to not embarrass God the Father who had seen this week coming and preparing me to adapt to what ever happens.. I am learning to lean and learning to accept help. I also know that I am just doing what I have to do. Day by day. Minute by Minute. One step closer to getting this baby well. And let me tell you, I really appreciate the village that is helping us. Nelly cried and was worried about me staying here alone, four hours from home. Sure., I miss the family, and I would rather not be alone, but this is not Africa this time, and I already found out that God is bigger than Africa. I think He's completely able to take care of me here, in this world, better than I know how to take care of things myself. SO, with a peaceful and resting baby boy, I am ready to hit the cot and see how things work out tomorrow..."for all things work together for good to those who love God." I love you, God. Thanks for the peace.