If we are the Body

Casting Crowns wrote one of our favorite songs. The chorus sings:

If we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus is the way.


I believe in Jesus. Completely. I can look back at the past years of my life, and see many times that I was confused at how things were shaking out for me or my loved ones, but then through the eyes of experience, see exactly where God had taken us and alot of the times, even how and why He choose the path He had us on.

I still believe. But I am wishing today that I oculd see the end result of His plan, especially in the lives we so desparately want to include in our family.

I will try not to be redundant, but let me explain. For the majority of my married life, I wanted to adopt children. My parents fostered many infants during my teenage years, so it seemed like a feasable way to add children into my home. Around 16, I had gotten the word that because of my endometriosis, I would likely never conceive a child, so when Mike and I married, we talked about the possibility of adopting. God, in HIS plan, blessed us with three beautiful biological children from the first birth in 1982 to the last one in 1986. Blessed beyond measure. Unexpected, precious lives we never thought would be given into our care in this totally normal way.

Years of moves, finishing college, various jobs, a hysterectomy at 28 and daily stuff of life, our children grew and it was good. But inside my heart, as I finished college later in life, and then took a fantastic job that grew me, personally, by leaps and bounds, I still wondered (hoped) that an adoption could still be possible for us. I printed out pictures of children from waiting lists around the U.S. I prayed over the faces, longed to wrap them in my arms and give them all the things that life had already cheated them out of. Pictures, stories, lives...but none of them were to be with us. Sadly, I still hoped some day I could have another child, born in my heart, as part of our life story.

In December of 2000, we met Nicole. Through a series of wonderful events, she became our adopted daughter the following year and my heart cry had been met. I praised God. She was the angel on our family tree. The job I loved so much was moving South the following year, and we toyed with the idea of what my next step should be. I wanted to be home with Nicole, and Mike felt like a new adventure was just around the corner. We got licensed for foster care, and on my birthday, we got the call for 2 very special girls who needed us. A temporary assignment became the loves of our lives, and 3 years later they took our name. It was official. Our family now included 3 little girls, all adopted, all a part of our heart before we ever even knew they existed. Nicole, Nelly and Tara. Now our family boasted of 6 children.

But there was always a face in the fog for me. A child somewhere was waiting for me, someone who would complete our family portrait. She was 2 1/2 months old when we met. She was an extreme preemie, a tiny, bright eyed baby who was in intensive care for more than an hour away. We met, I love her immediately, and brought her home more than a month later. We would only be helping her heal from her surgeries, gain strength and send her to a loving family. I didn't dare to dream that we would be that family. However, in '04 it was final. Another beautiful girl. Mere' became one of us.

We didn't plan for more, but we were blessed to foster a few more children and grieved when they left our fold. It was apparent, to us, that our hearts felt complete when the children could stay forever, and eventually, 2 boys, Tom then Tyler, and a precious baby girl, Isabella, joined our family, finalizing their permanence as recent as 2007. We now sheltered 7 children at home, 3 biological kids had settled into adult lives with spouses, with the added blessing of 2 grandsons to complete our enlarged homes and lives.

In the summer of '08, we dared to dream again. Waiting children from state lists were not an option, since our family was now considered "big enough" by state standards. But our hearts were not at rest. We both enjoyed the status of "large family", realizing each addition brought change, but not completion in our minds. We approached waiting lists from other states, only to be discouraged that the same standard held true. With the encouragement of our pediatrician, we began the process of international adoption. We didn't really choose Ethiopia, but she chose us. Our family size was not a detriment to adopt from their country, and our age just meant we had to get our doctors approval of good health. We began the process.

Fast forward to now. We have trained, studied the country, and dreamed of the brown eyed babies waiting for us. We have put our hearts into paperwork, emails, homestudies, and phone calls. Now, almost 2 years later, we still wonder why it's taken this much time to get, what seems like, hardly any closer to our hearts desire.

Today, though,I feel God's work in our home. I know we are on the verge of a miracle. He has plans to bless us, plans to enlarge our fold, plans to increase our hearts to include another child. I breathe. I hope. I wonder just how it will all work out. But I trust His plan. I trust our lives into His plan.

In the meantime, I seek ways to be HIS hands, HIS feet, HIS arms. I feel how much God has entrusted me with, and I want, more than anything, to be faithful to His calling. We ARE the Body of Christ.