Holiday Resolve

We (ok, mostly me) are determined to put a whole different perspective on the holidays this year.

Every year we are thrilled that we have a house full to buy presents for, and Mike, especially, loves to wrap them. We spend hours late into the night wrapping gifts to all the old classic movies roaring in front of us and talk about how exciting Christmas morning will be when the kids eyes pop as they see the glowing tree surrounded by colorful wrapped gifts we chose perfectly for them.

Rewind....
Typically, I have shopped throughout the year, found semi-perfect (but good) gifts for each, and are still wrapping presents the night before Santa's visit. The gifts do get piled high, and it is somewhat magical, and we do enjoy the time spent wrapping and watching our favorite old movies.

But, this year, even more so than last year, I have been burdened by the intensity of the expectations to get/do more and more each year. I love to shop and buy, but I also want to teach my kids about the giving aspect of the holidays. Somewhere we may be covering that up.

I have heard of families who only purchase 3 gifts per child. This approach is not about the money they spend, but about the amount of wrapped gifts. After all, baby Jesus got three special gifts from the Wisemen, and none of my kids are better than Him! That plan may work for some families, but it isn't the one I want to adhere to.

I also know people who "shop 'til they drop", "spend 'til the end," and "Charge!!" We have tried for years to be careful not to purchase gifts on credit, because before our cards would be paid off, the toys would be a distant memory, if remembered at all.

We typically determine a money amount each year, divide it per child, and shop for the best deals for the money. That has always worked for me, and I still prefer
it. I have a set amount to spend, I try to stay close to that, and then I try to make the gifts look "even" between the recipients. I NEVER want anyone to feel left out or disadvantaged in any way.

And I am still cool with all that.

However, somehow, the whole holiday process is being revamped in my own heart, and this is what I am processing these days. We are cutting back on what we spend, but hoping what they all "get" from this holiday add more to their lives than any amount of money ever could.

My kids lack for nothing. Oh, there is always some new toy or gadget they want, but they all have PLENTY of everything. Toys, clothes, food, games, etc. They may not believe it, but it's true. Every day I am finding broken things that I trash, or extra things we don't need. It appears that an overabundance of items in a childs life makes them selfish and expectant, and they can not possibly take care of all the things us parents (in our desire to give them all the good things in life) thrust at them. I am still learning this concept.

I lack for nothing. I do not have all the last minute technology, and I do not have clothes that make me drop-dead gorgeous. Come to think of it, I am pretty enough when I smile, and as long as I have clean clothes or a nice outfit for a special occasion, I am fine. Sure, I get swayed by the colors of each new season, and I attend events occasionally where I feel like I can not possibly compete with Ms. Fashion Plate, but that's OK. I don't really have to. I am well fed, well read and well...well. I try to eat sensibly and I hate exercise, but I am always open to improvements (as long as it is cheap and has good results). I have friends and family who love me. I have way too much "stuff" in my house, but I am learning to discard things every week that I can part with. I am not defined by what I have.

I put Mike in the same category as me, but I do not speak for him. We have both noticed how very blessed we are, and how little we need. Part of that is because of what we have learned over the last few years.

Kids thrive on time and attention. Kids need parents who set boundaries, yet love them unconditionally. Kids need to know their parents love each other, and want what's best for them. Kids need to know that if the whole word crushes them down, there will always be someone who will be there to pick them up, dust them off, and encourage them to try again. Kids need a place to thrive, a place to rest and a place to have fun. They need friends and family that give them positive feedback when they do well, and remind them when they need to make better choices. Kids need to know, under no circumstance, will their family ever leave them for any reason.

Unfortunately, on our journey to our Ethiopian children, we have seen many international children who will never have the security of any of these things that kids need. Most do not have the food to sustain them, or the family to love them. They scrounge for food, and live in overcrowded orphanages. They long for a family to call their own, someone to love them and make them a part of their lives forever.
Their needs will not fit in a golden box with white ribbons.

How does that fit with our Christmas plans? I am feeling, deeply, the losses these Ethiopian children face day to day. I am yearning for ways to make a difference in their lives, lasting differences that will help them develop beyond what their little hearts could ever hope to imagine. I want to be the one to make a difference in the lives of children.

We, as a family, are incredibly blessed. Blessed to be born in a land of plenty. Blessed to go to bed with our belly's full and our mornings fuller yet. Blessed to have care when we are sick, and a home that is warm. Blessed to have each other.

I am hoping our focus is a little bit more towards others this year. A little less of "I want that." A little more of "Can I help?"

A little less of "What can you do for me?" and a little more of "What can I do for you?"

We have set some positive plans in place through the holidays to help us learn how better to live this way. Some volunteer opportunities that will include every one of us, hopefully putting a bit more emphasis on "them" instead of "me." We have taken on a few projects that put a different twist on giving. It's a start.

It's challenging when all the world assaults us with their plans for the holidays. After all, we "deserve" to treat ourselves, and we are happier if it's all bigger, brighter and better than the year before.

But our family is taking a few steps back this year to refocus. I hope we all come out of it with the resolve that it is the best possible kind of Christmas we could ever have.

And that this year will just begin a new type of holiday spirit in us all.