My First Son

Today is Mother's Day, the Nationally recognized day to honor our mothers. People are celebrating all over the U.S., and in our home, Mike has always made it a full day event.

When I think of the events that made me a mother, I travel back in time to my first set of children, and the powerful feeling I experienced becoming a first time mom.

Throughout my entire first pregnancy, I referred to the baby as our "Chad Michael." The first born in both of our families were both boys, so I figured our first born would be also. When Ashleigh was born, we immediately forgot about our thoughts of a boy. The next pregnancy brought us another wonderful little girl, so our third pregnancy would not have surprised me if I was, again, carrying another girl.

Around the 5th month, an ultrasound revealed, to our surprise and joy, a baby boy was growing and thriving in my womb. We immediately determined he would follow in daddy's footsteps and we would name him after his dad. We were to have a "Junior" in the house, but we would call him by his middle name so there would never be any confusion about who we were talking about.

We called him "Scotty" from the moment of that first ultrasound. Our much anticipated Son took center stage as we decorated a boy's room, bought blue outfits and prepared for his birth. It was some of the most exciting days of our lives - a boy!!

During my pregnancy there were very few issues, but the last week prior to his delivery was full of problems. My blood pressure teetered on the edge of dangerous, and baby's heart rate fluctuated enough that, in those days, the doctor considered me high risk. We were blessed to have my mom come stay with us in Tennessee during this time, and I remember moving painfully from chair to couch to bed the entire week. I was miserable.

Finally, doc decides to deliver. March 14, 1986. My water was broken, and labor began. Mom was at home with the girls, who were then 4 and 2. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, when baby's rate dropped, and doctor didn't leave my side. As soon as the doctor thought we could try delivery, my epidural had kicked in, giving me sweet relief from the pain. After delivering both girls naturally, I knew the process would be painful, but this time I was having a hard time focusing on the end result, so the epidural was a huge bonus.

I remember the relief I sensed when the doctor saw the crowning of baby's head, but then the fear I sensed invading the room within minutes. The cord was pulling tight against the baby's neck, making his delivery frightening. After what seemed like a very long time, the forceps brought Scotty into the world, blue, and not breathing. We were holding our breath when we heard the first cry, and realized, we just had a baby boy! Although he was bruised and slight color slowly infused his cheeks, he was finally here and we were blessed. He looked just like the girls, on first sight, then the nurses whisked him away to the nursery where he could get life-sustaining oxygen and his apgar scores could be recalculated.

Many other thoughts crowd my mind of that time, but I jump forward to today. Scott is a man, father of three, married to a great gal. He is nearing the end of his career in the Coast Guard, making plans that will take his family into the next stage of life. Although he lives over 700 miles from us, he has a strong presence in our lives even now. He is a firefighter, plays guitar in his church worship band, is a creative dad and wonderful husband. He works hard to make a good life for his family, and he is pursuing an online college degree to secure his future.

Sometimes I think he took on an awful lot at an early age. But what he has accomplished is far beyond what some men will never do. He is kind, considerate, and extremely funny. He is sensitive to the needs of others, and he looks for ways to help out. He makes friends easily, and his laughter brings laughs out of others. He is compassionate, dedicated and loyal. I have no doubt all of these things will just continue to deepen and ripen as he ages, and I am so proud of all he has accomplished so far.

He doesn't like me to brag on his accomplishments, but when he earns an award for something he's done with the Coast Guard, I say, with pride, "That's my boy!!" When he comes up with a new song he's written, or one of his boys calls me with something funny to share, I know it's in part because of the father he is and I swell with pride.

He grew so tall over the years, and he's strong and handsome. He's a great example for my younger boys to follow and he's a man that I am never afraid to lift up to them. He's become so much more to me than the baby boy I longed for. He's now a man, with a bright future, and a precious past I am fortunate to be a part of.

Scott, I miss you being in my day to day world, but your life is a beautiful picture to me of selfless contribution to family, friends and your community. I miss you and love you. I am so glad that God chose me to be your mom. Thanks for contributing to my life and making me a stronger, better mother. With all my love, Mom.