My First Born

One of the things that makes me extremely happy is that my oldest daughter lives just a few miles away from us. It's not that I love her any more than the others, but since they live so far away (one on the west coast, one on the east), I get excited about seeing them for vacations and special events, and miss them terribly, but my oldest daughter is here all the time, and I love that.

She is the one who has stepped up to say, "I am here" if anything happens that we can not raise our little ones to adulthood. Our other daughter and son would make sure everyone is safe too, but it's comforting to know that the oldest one is here, learning to understand each of the kids and their quirks, along with seeing the day to day struggle that some of the kids bring into the picture.

Don't read this wrong. I feel tremendous support from all three of our grown kids, and I am very, very proud of the things they are doing in their own families. I have NO doubt that when the chips are down, they are pulling for us, comforting us over the miles through phone calls, emails and cards. We never walk alone in this family. They all pray for us, support us, and love us. We are grateful. It's just that their life walks took them out of town, and our oldest daughter's walk is, at least for the moment, here.

But because our oldest daughter is here, I think we have a tendency to understate her importance in our lives.

I appreciate it when she comes to help me clean. ALOT.

I love the fact that she is not the hoarder and pack rat I tend to be, and she's not afraid to tell me when something needs to go.

I am grateful that she has grown to understand my intensity, and that she knows when I am near tears, all she has to do is hug me and tell me it will all work out. Together.

I like it that she is opinionated, and a strong woman. But she is also tender, gentle and caring. She has taken us by surprise with her love of animals, a simple farm life, and her career choice in caring for others. That extends from years in nursing home care, but it's also choices she has made to give so much of herself to loving people that sometimes she experiences deep hurt.

She can fix nearly anything, and I believe there is no project that she won't at least try to tackle. She works on fences, cars, construction, art, sewing, mending and puzzles. She helps put people back together, too. She mothers her small flock of ducks and chickens, tenderly, as a momma loves her child. She is sensitive. She loves to talk politics. She would rather read in her garden bench or dig in the dirt than shop at a mall. She prefers a cold beer to a diet coke. She makes no excuses for the way she lives her life, and she constantly strives to make her life the best she can be. She is not caught up in material things, but has a beautiful house that she proudly fills with her style of creations from the earth.

She cares for her younger siblings, and even asks to spend time with the ones who may just need a little less mothering, and a whole lot more big-sistering. The littlest ones here can think of no other place they would rather be than at her house. I love that.

I am grateful that she has taken time to help with Girl Scouts, show up at science fairs, and comes to birthday parties even when she gets a last minute notice.

I am thankful that she keeps my bathrooms clean, empties my trash cans and finds numerous ways to make life easier for me.

She's beautiful, fun loving and continues to value growing. Whether it's her mind, her garden or her ability to take on a new project.

I tend to take her for granted, and I am reminded each time I am with her that the reason I do is because she requires nothing from us. She is not demanding, but welcomes us when we pull into her driveway. She asks for advice, but lives within her budget and her abilities to make it on her own. She is proud of her achievements, but never boasts of all she accomplishes.

I see other people who are not as lucky as us to have such a wonderful daughter. Another day I will write about the other wonderful children we have been blessed with, but today, I just wanted to say how very much I appreciate my oldest daughter, and how very glad I am to be her mom.

She never reads my blog, but I hope I can do better at letting her know just how very wonderful she is. I am proud of the daughter that first made me a mom. I love you, Ashleigh.