Loss

Loss.

I have a beautiful friend who stopped by yesterday. We were discussing LOSS. I have been experiencing a painful loss this week, and I found myself hanging on every one of her words of comfort. She had suffered a great loss 15 years ago, so I know I can share my loss openly with her. She never criticizes or minimizes my feelings, but instead, allows me to share every facet of my pain that I am trying to work through, while she kindly shares her experiences through the years of how to deal with all the stages I will be going through as I explore the depth of my own pain.

I am encouraged to have such dear friends who can walk through the depths with me. I am also accutely aware of other pain that seems to be swallowing people all around me.

The friend who suffers a tragedy with his young daughter.
The friend who had a stillborn child.
The friend who is is working through a difficult relationship.
The friend who is alone.
The friend who's life is made more difficult by illness.
The friend who has recently faced death in his family.
The friend who is going through a life-changing surgery.
The friend who is facing custody battles with their child.
The friend who is dealing with cancer treatments.
The friend who has searched for employment for over a year.
The friend who's son has unexpectedly died.

Pain. Loss. How do they cope?

I can sense so many different stages of grief in each situation. The loss either suffered or upcoming.

I believe I need to focus on Christ. In my life, I know He has always soothed the pain. He is the ultimate in suffering, overcoming evil and despair, the model of grace and perserverance. So what can I learn from Him?

I know I can not handle loss alone. I want to retreat into my pain, away from the loved ones around me. I want to quietly suffer in my dispair, tears falling, agonizing over what I am missing. Feeling alone. But I can not travel this path alone. I need these friends to hold me up, tell me how they survived their pain and loss, all the while assuring me that I can survive too.

I also know that I have to focus on the good in my life. After every loss, no matter how extreme, there is still much good. I am blessed beyond measure with children, a good husband, and friends. I have a comfortable home, many dear friends and plenty to eat. There is sunshine, rainbows and fresh air. I am blessed with family who loves me, and family who surround me with laughter and joy.

I also know I have to allow myself to grieve for the loss I have suffered. I have to allow the tears to flow, cleansing my heart for loving and hoping again. I need to recognize our great loss, without wallowing in the despair, but embracing all that life has for me that is good. I have to believe there are blessings ahead, and hope to be had again.

Loss is hard. Loss can wreck marriages, friendships, businesses, and lives. I do not want to be one of the statistics that are spoken of in hushed tones that point to the devastation. I want to thrive in the new me who has overcome the loss and made a better me in the meanwhile.

I do not claim to understand why. I do not claim to like the place I am in. But I am claiming the promises of Jesus who suffered so much on my behalf. And I am believing that above all else, He loves me more than I will ever realize, and He has a plan even better than I could ever plan for myself.

I don't want the loss I have experienced to define who I am, but as my dear friend assured me, I will be different, but the difference will be OK. The new me will be OK.

Yes, thank God, I will be OK.