I mean, really, it's just hair!

I am always amazed at what teenagers can come up with.
My 14 year old spends most of his time in trouble.
Often, it's minor offenses at home and school.

But lately, it's been mounting to more and more serious.

The part that is so frustrating to us as parents, however, is that even in the midst of his punishments/consequences, he is clueless to why he's in trouble.

Last week he was suspended for the entire school week. He had mooned the bus driver from a neighboring school, from his bus. The principle was not amused. We were not either. He didn't think it was a big deal at all.

Although it was a prank years ago, it's considered "indecent exposure" now. NOT GOOD. This comes on the tail of other offenses on his school record, typically relating to how poorly his choices are. He usually tries to blame it on someone else, but come on, he is old enough to make his own choices.

So, he's been on house arrest all week, doing hard labor at home. Raking, moving stacks of wood, pulling out bushes. One day he thought he had done all he needed to do for the days chores, and started shooting baskets at 1:00 in the afternoon. OOOPS. NOT . He ended up raking until nearly dark that night when his dad got home.

We thought by giving him this type of work, he would be able to reason that his schooling was important enough to do his best, otherwise this is the type of work he will do for the rest of his life, for lower-than-he-thinks-he's-worth paychecks.

I don't think he's getting it.

He also complained all week about needing a haircut.

He has thick hair, too curly and unmanageable, unless it's short. We gave up taking him to the barber shop because we pay so much for a cut that never suits him. We tried salon's - same thing. He complains. We all agreed he needed a haircut.

What he hated was his dad doing it.

What??? We have been cutting his hair for the majority of time he has lived with us. Over 5 years of haircuts, and all of a sudden, he thinks he's being punished by getting his hair cut.

Really??? Like we have nothing better to do with our time than cut his hair to make him mad?

He complained. He nearly cried. He got sooooo mad.

Come on! It's just HAIR!

The saddest part is that he is more concerned with his hair than his behavior.

I overheard this conversation during the haircut.

Him: "Why can't I get a hair cut that I pay for?"
Dad: "You could. You have enough in savings for one. The bank is not open tonight and you need it cut. What happens in 6 weeks when you need it cut again?"
Him: "You hate me."
Dad: "It's hair. I would rather you were more worried about what you are on the inside instead of the way you look."
Him: "I'm not."
Dad: "I know."

He sees himself as a ladies man. He's a very cocky guy. And he really does not care what people think of him as a person. It's all about the look.

Well, he got his haircut. He's still mad this morning.

Welcome to the land of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The world where brains don't function like they should, and being a teenager just makes it all the more difficult.

Times like this, I would love to meet his birthmom. I have ALOT against her.

I wish I could say things will get better. Usually I am just holding my breath until the next offense.

Hair or no hair, I love him, but won't tolerate his bad behaviour. It's terribly disturbing to see him self destruct when he has so much potential.

And that, folks, is a typical weekend with this kid.

I am so thankful for my fellow bloggers that have encouraged me along this path. It is tough to go it alone.

Play Dates and Nights Out

I have had so much fun lately going out with my nieces. Since they are the ages of my older kids, their children (my great nieces and nephews)are wonderful playmates to my youngest kids. Plus, the kids are so funny that we spend alot of time laughing.

Last week we had a cousins playdate and sleepover. That meant we had 16 people in the house for 24 hours, the majority of them under 8 years old!! It was fun. The adults (minus my husband) worked on our scrapbooks, but the children played, ate, played more and ate more. Sometimes they can stay so busy playing outside, but usually when we are scrapping they have more trouble being away from us! (wink!)

So, we got some scrapping done, but mostly we had fun. The night before our playdate/sleepover, the 3 of us ladies visited a new scrapbook supply store for the first time. It's one of those obsessions I found I can not live without. I TRY to be smart about the money I spend, and am learning to focus on photos that I already have printed out, but sometimes there is paper or stickers or some other type embellishment that just knocks me down and I HAVE to get it! I even find myself daydreaming about page layouts and title pages!

We shopped, ate dinner out and laughed until we cried. We came back to my house, still giddy but tired just before midnight, and planning for our scrapping/playdate/sleepover the next day. As soon as I walked into the diningroom, where my husband and daughter were sitting, I noticed it. First, I should tell you, my husband and I always compete with "how bad the kids were while you were gone," or "it didn't happen on my watch!" anytime we are in charge of the kids while the other is out.

This night, it was his watch. Bella, the 3 year old, had cut her hair. Off. Almost the whole left side. And also chunks throughout. Now, she had snipped bits of her hair in times past, and just the week before had pulled out a hunk of her little cousin's curls (on as-ki-dent, of course). We saved the curls for her scrapbook even. I ran my hand through the back of Bella's hair, and said, "Oh my, what did you do?" as a handful of hair came off as the words came out of my mouth.

Mike, without really even trying to defend himself, simply stated: "She found scissors and the next thing I knew...." Yep. She still had a few piles of the remains of her long locks on the floor of the mudroom. Next to the rabbit cage. Oh no, even the poor bunny had a trim. To his whiskers. Long enough to have missed his face, but short enough to frustrate the bejeebers out of him!!

What could I do? The main thing was getting her to bed, since it was so late anyway. The next thing was to get through our cousin's event, which would give me time to formulate a plan of action on the best way to proceed. My delicate baby girl looked like a teen punk rocker. Not quite the look I was going for...

It's ironic that her gramma and I were just discussing her long hair, especially pretty since she stayed almost bald for her entire first year. I was thinking we were in need of a trim, since her bangs were finally growing in from her last scissor excursion. But gramma had just said, "It's so pretty, you should keep it growing long." Yeah, right. Bella had another plan.

Actually, she probably didn't have a plan. Just scissors and a few moments alone.

On Friday morning, a really nice hair stylist repaired it as much as she could, giving her a short, layered cut that frames her face. In all truth, it's adorable. I had never considered cutting it this length, but since the deed was done, it looks really sweet and cute on her face. And the stylist did a great job with what we brought her!

So, playdates, scrapping, sleepovers. You never know what to expect around here. We find fun whenever and however we can.

And, I got a really nice hunk of hair for Bella's scrapbook too!!