The Boss of the Christmas Tree

I must admit, after these last 2 weeks with constant parties, activity and holiday noise, I am ready for a little simplicity to begin again.

Today we met a dear friend who was in town for the holidays. She is traveling 24 hours by train tonight to get back home, and we had about an hour of catch up time over breakfast. I snapped a couple pictures, asked alot of questions about how life was treating her and tried really hard to hold back the tears when we had to say goodbye again.

After a trip to our local thrift store, we headed to the grocery to stock up on the important things, like milk and bread, to hold us through the impending lake-effect snow we are suppose to get yet before tomorrow morning. We dropped eggs off for my parents so they wouldn't have to get out in the deep snow, then headed home with enough time to get the majority of the family home so Nic and I could meet my niece for some special pampering to celebrate her 14th birthday.

I was giving "orders" to cover my expectations of what everyone should accomplish while I was away this afternoon, when I heard two voices from the backseat of the van just as we were pulling into our driveway.

"Mom, is Bella the boss of the Christmas tree!"

I had to think about it for a minute before I could answer.

Everyone around here seems to think they are the "boss" of something. For Tyler, he thinks he's the boss of the dog and whatever happens in the barn. Admittedly, he spends the most time in chores with both the dog and the goats, so I guess, if that means being the boss of the dog and barn, he would be it.

Nicole thinks she is the boss of her room. Although she shares it with Nelly, Nic seems to think it's up to her to tell Nelly where things go, when to put them there and how quick to do it. I try to squelch that attitude of bossiness, because I don't really like the kids to boss each other. So Nic, in turn, becomes the boss of the upstairs bathroom. Since she likes to boss who/when/how it's used, she also gets to be the boss of cleaning it most of the time. That takes some of her bossiness right out the window.

Nelly likes to think she can boss Tara. NOT. So, Nelly usually is the boss of helping Tara, Mere and Tom with homework. Usually it's reading to them, (which she is an expert at, actually) and as long as she keeps a positive attitude with them, it's nice having her as the homework boss. She could use someone to boss her in that area, however.

Tara bosses everyone. She thinks if one of us doesn't do what she wants or when she wants it, she is justified in being angry at whomever disappoints her. She is a very determined boss, not always the kindest at her bossiness, but she is learning a little bit better every year that bosses get more out of their subjects with kindness and appreciation. Not really a bad skill for a 7 year old to be learning.

Mere is the boss of all the stuffed animals. Every toy in the house lines up under her scrutiny, and she forces each of them to be completely under her spell. They jump, wiggle and move at her command, and I never hear one word of complaint from her bossiness to them. They smile, eyes bright, and come back day after day for more of her demands. It's one of the better situations that I see on a daily basis.

Thomas is the boss of...Bella. He thinks it is his single handed duty to make sure she gets caught doing anything wrong, gets blamed for things he probably has done himself and even roped her into, while all the time maintaining complete innocense in all of it. He prefers bossing Bella, mostly, because she is not quite old enough to understand that he is really not her boss. She will come crying to us at times, telling us what Tommy has told her to do, and we reassure her that Tommy is NOT her boss. But Tommy doesn't believe that for one single minute.

So, up until today, we have thought that Bella was the boss of the bunny. She tells everyone when they can hold him, if they have had him too long, and introduces him to everyone who comes in our home. When they smeared applesauce on him, everyone told us that she was responsible for nearly killing him by dousing him in really cold water to get the applesauce off of his fur. He made it, although it was amazing after his "saucy" ordeal, and we figured Bella would continue to boss the bunny. And she has.

However, today Bella declared, out of nowhere that we knew of, that she was the boss of the Christmas tree. All the bosses in the van were indignant, to say the least. I mean, if she was going to be recognized as the boss of the Christmas tree, everyone else was going to have to come up with a second bossing job too, or it would never work. We could not have such inequality in our family. No way.

So, I calmly replied, "No Mere, Bella is not the boss of the Christmas Tree."

There was a few moments of silence, when that same little voice said, "So who is?"

Well now, I know whoever is the boss of the tree is going to have to answer to me. It's after the holidays now, and the twinkling lights are still twinkling. The majority of the ornaments have found their way to the uppermost part of the tree, because of the little fingers that can't help but remove them several times a day, to which I end up trying to place them just a bit further up on higher limbs. Just out of fingers reach. So the bottom is practically bare. The space it occupies could really house the chair and instand, and maybe even that new recliner I have my eye on at the furniture store.

So, the tree has to go. And since the boss of the tree will be responsible for packing it all back up into the nifty cartons that house it 11 months out of the year, I believe the decision of who is boss of the tree has already been declared years and years ago. Matter of fact, back at our first christmas in 1980. Mike could be the boss of the christmas tree LIGHTS, but I would utimately be the tree boss. I could decide when it gets set up, where it went and how long it stayed. So, although the trees have changed through the years, the BOSS has always been the same.

"Me, Mere." I answered her. "I am the boss of the Christmas tree. Not Bella."

I may have heard a nearly whispered "oh". Or it might has been a collective sigh from behind me in the van. But now there is NO question at all, I am the boss of the Christmas tree.

And I say, tomorrow it comes down.
End of story.
And it feels kinda good to be the boss of something around here.

November

Time is flying by on the homefront. It seems like we had just opened our camper for the season when we emptied it and got it ready for winter. That's the first sign of November.

Planning for our thanksgiving feast is another sign. We know with a large family, it's usually much easier to host holiday events than to drag 7 kids to other homes. Besides, it's not like we get a ton of invitations anyway!! We sat down last week to prepare our dinner list, always including the standard fare, along with a couple of new dishes this year. We plan on having about 9 guests, so will be bringing all the table and chairs out of the basement, and washing up all the table covers. I think of the first thanksgiving and wonder what they would think of our use of paper plates, and disposable dinner wear. I love a fancy table, but when you feed a crowd, it's one of the sacrifices I am willing to make for it to be a day of fellowship, and not extra work.

We also started putting our Santa lists together this week. I admit, it's hard to write a wish list when the temps have been warmer than some parts of our summer this year. I think once the snow flies, I feel more in the holiday mood, and it seems much more real once the trees are lit. We started a family tradition last year with joining one of our children's birth grandma and taking an old fashioned wagon ride to the pine tree farm to pick out the perfect tree. Since we have a couple of asthmatics in our family, we put the real tree on the porch out front, and the artificial tree in the house. Both become spectacular sights, and we enjoy the decorating. Last year our house still had the outside wrap on it, since we didn't get the siding done until this spring, so we always teased that the lights on the tree made a wonderful advertisment for our local lumber company. I wonder if they will miss that this year? Our outdoor tree was (of course) the most expensive on the lot, and this year I hope to encourage the kids to find a perfect "cheaper" tree. Oh to be young again and not have to be concerned about money!

So, I started my christmas shopping, wondering how to teach the kids about the true meaning of the holiday, and still enjoy the American traditions that we all enjoy. We started by choosing 3 names of children off of our church Christmas tree that need some loving, and began purchasing gifts for them that may be the only thing they receive this year. We will begin our baking after thanksgiving, with the plan of making trays to give to our neighbors, and hopefully taking some to the women's shelter downtown. In times past we have made boxes that are sent to orphanages overseas, but this year I am looking for other ways to help the kids really be involved in helping some who are less fortunate than we are. I have asked them to consider what we can do either individually, or as a family, to help someone else. I am hoping they can come up with some good answers on their own.

In the midst of all the business of life, I am reaching into my own heart and trying to define the things I am blessed with, and express my thankfulness for them. I realize there are so many ways I am blessed by family, friends, and even strangers, and I hope that I am living my life as a blessing to others. The words I say, the things I do, the people I am around.

Our homestudy is finally nearing completion, and we hope to have the hard copy in hand right after the holiday. I hear rumors about international adoption closing its doors and I fight the panic response. I am more than ready to welcome our newest children into our home. I dream of them. I wonder throughout the day who they are, what they look like, when will they come home? I try to trust in an all knowing Father who knows our hearts and the hearts of Kings, and I won't give up the desire of my heart until I know for sure we have done all we can do to reach our children.

Until then, we go through our days, counting our blessings, reaching out to others, teaching the important things of life to our children, and praying daily for what is ahead. I hope you can do the same, and I look forward to hearing how you have succeeded in your life goals, also. God bless you and yours in this season of thanksgiving.